While digesting Reader's Digest in the back of the dirty book store
A plastic flag with a gun on the back fell out on the floor
Well I picked it up and I ran outside and slapped it on my windshield
And if I could see old Betsy Ross, I'd tell her how good I feel

Chorus: But your flag decal won't get you into heaven anymore
They're already overcrowded from your dirty little war
And Jesus don't like killing no matter what the reason's for
And your flag decal won't get you into heaven anymore

Well I went to the bank this morning and the cashier said to me
If you join the Christmas Club, we'll give you ten of them flags for free
Well, I didn't mess around a bit, I took him up on what he said
And I stuck them stickers all over my car and one on my wife's forehead
(Chorus)
Well I got my windowshield so filled up with flags I couldn't see
So I ran the car upside a curb and right into a tree
By the time they got a doctor down, I was already dead
And I'll never understand why the man standing in the pearly gate said
(Choru